Sisterly Love

A lot of people asked me how do my girls get along so well and have they ever fought with each other?

Haha. My girls are normal kids, guys. Of course they fight!

They usually fight verbally (girls, right) over petty things like… whose hair is longer, or who should become Twilight Sparkle, or when kakak doesn’t want to sit beside adik, or when Raina sang My Little Pony song wrongly… stuff like that.

And then they would always end it with “I DON’T WANNA FRIEND YOU!” or even “I DON’T WANT TO BUY YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT BECAUSE YOU DON’T BEHAVE!” and then the other would cry, “HUWAAA SHE DON’T WANT TO BUY ME PRESENT NANTI I DON’T HAVE PRESENT!”.

Sheeshhh pening aku -___-’

But their squabbles and fights don’t last long. One minute they’re like Ultraman and raksasa (except this Ultraman and raksasa fought over which Lego Friends scene they should pretend-play), and the next minute they’re like BFFs, laughing and giggling away like nothing ever happened.

Like the other day, they were fighting over iPad and there were lots of screaming and crying involved. Apparently, one of them “ruined” Sofia’s bedroom because she colored the bed with the wrong color and didn’t put the right accessories or something (they were playing Sofia The First coloring game by the way).

5 minutes later, they came downstairs together and Ayra told me, “Mama, I like Raina. She’s my best friend foreverr!”.

Righttt.

I guess it’s normal for siblings to fight and squabble every now and then. But one thing I learned is not to blame only one child or assume things based on what you see without finding out what really happened. Listen to both sides of the story. Let each child explain and then only take necessary actions (advice and whatnot). Parents should be the peacemaker here!

 

IMG_2195Dresses from DVF ♥ babyGap collection, flats from Zara Girs

 

One time, I casually asked Ayra whether she loves her little sis and she said, “Yes, I love Raina. She’s so sweet and funny and she’s so silly”.

Then I asked Raina the same thing and she answered, “I love kakak because she so nice and like to teach me”.

Awwhhh….

These two can be really sweet with one another when they’re not fighting. I just love to see how they get along nicely. It never fails to warm my heart. I hope my girls will remain close (if not closer) when they’re older, insya-Allah.

 

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I think parents play a very important role in helping nurture a good sibling relationship. I know it can get really tempting to compare your children with one another (I admit I used to do that too), but please please pleaseee avoid comparing siblings, especially in front of them. It’s a recipe for disaster that can lead to sibling rivalry. Nobody likes to be compared – I’m sure you don’t like it when somebody compares you with someone else so don’t do it, especially to your children. Everyone is different and has unique talents and abilities; so does your child.

When you compliment or praise one of your children, compliment the others as well. You don’t want your child to feel “superior” or appreciated more than his/her other siblings and you certainly don’t want your other child to feel, “Mom probably loves my brother more because he’s smart”. You want each of them to know that they are all special in their own ways and that you love them no matter what. Insya-Allah they will learn to appreciate and respect each other. I actually learned this from my MIL (somebody once complimented one of my girls and my MIL told that person, “Kalau puji sorang, kena la puji sorang lagi”) and I have been doing it ever since. The compliments don’t have to be the same. Like for example, when I told Ayra, “Your hair is beautiful. So straight and smooth, I like it”, I would also tell Raina that, “I like your curly hair. It looks fabulous”.

Whether it’s their appearances or their abilities, just try to find the best in every child and appreciate their differences. It’s what makes them unique!

 

IMG_2205The dynamic duo. Ayra the neat and independent one, and Raina the cool and funny one :)



Touched

I put my girls to bed as usual, last night. I read them a bedtime story, chatted for a bit about their day, recited a few surahs and du’a, hugged and kissed them good night.

Then Ayra asked me to urut her knee. And then Raina also requested me to urut hers as well (she likes to follow whatever her sister does hehe). So I sat on the floor, in between their beds and urut them – one hand massaging Ayra’s knee, and another hand massaging Raina’s knee.

I told them that when I get older and sakit, they would have to urut and take care of me as well, just like I did to them.

Raina replied ‘okay’, but Ayra was awfully quiet.

And then I heard her sob.
OMG. She cried!

“I don’t want you to get older and sakit, nanti you die and I don’t have mommy anymore”.

Ohh sweetheart…

I hugged her tightly and whispered that mama’s here and I’m not going to die yet (and okay, I cried a little).
I was so touched!

“If you love mama, you have to make du’a to Allah and ask Him to protect me and let me live long enough so I can be with you”, I said and gave her a kiss.

She nodded.

“I love you mama”.

Sigh.

I love you, sayang. Both of you, so very much.

O God, be kind to me through the survival of my children,
setting them right for me, and allowing me to enjoy them.
My God, make long their lives for me,
increase their terms, bring up the smallest for me,
strengthen the weakest for me,
rectify for me their bodies, their religious dedication, and their moral traits,
make them well in their souls, their limbs,
and everything that concerns me of their affair,
and pour out for me and upon my hand their provisions!
Make them pious, fearing, insightful, hearing,
and obedient toward Thee, loving and well-disposed toward Thy friends,
and stubbornly resistant and full of hate toward all Thy enemies! Amen!

O God, through them strengthen my arm,
straighten my burdened back, multiply my number,
adorn my presence, keep alive my mention,
suffice me when I am away, help me in my needs,
and make them loving toward me, affectionate, approaching, upright, obedient,
Never disobedient, disrespectful, opposed, or offenders!
Help me in their upbringing, their education, and my devotion toward them,
give me among them from Thyself male children,
make that a good for me, and make them a help for me in that which I ask from Thee!
Give me and my progeny refuge from the accursed Satan,
for Thou hast created us, commanded us, and prohibited us, and made us desire
the reward of what Thou hast commanded, and fear its punishment!

Ameen.

[www.duas.org]



Ayra turns 5

My eldest girl turns 5 today. My sweet little girl, Ayra.

It’s amazing to see how much she has grown over the past few years. From a clingy baby/toddler who cries and whines A LOT to this independent little girl who washes her own cups and bowls. She’s a big girl now!

She likes helping around the house with simple tasks like cleaning up her room, arranging shoes and wiping any spills that she or her lil sis accidentally make. She’s also a caring big sister and I just love seeing the bond between her and her little sis – how they get along with each other, how she would help her little sis with just about anything when I have my hands full (getting dressed, suap makan, pour her drinks), how she would get mad when her little sis refused to wash hands and get cleaned after a messy chocolate treat because “Nanti kotor ants datang!” and how she would teach her little sis to do things like how to wear shoes and how to color properly. Senang cerita, she’s reliable (for her age) and I can depend on her. I guess that’s an eldest child thing?

Oh, but she still whines. Sometimes it even sounded like she’s nagging. And she sounded pretty much like me when she does that. Yikes.

I noticed that we have a lot of things in common other than the whining part. Her little sister may look a lot like me when I was little, but I think Ayra has my personality and characteristics. We’re both the eldest sister, we are fussy eaters (or at least I used to be one – just like her), we are shy and quiet around people, we like all things girly and pretty, we are somewhat neat freaks and some other things that shall not be spilled here. But she’s an early riser (that is so not me) and would always wake me up every weekend asking for breakfast.

Just like any girly girl, Ayra loves dressing up. Sometimes she even wears necklace and headband at home. And I can sense that she has a great taste in fashion for a 5-year-old! She knows how to match her accessories with her outfits that sometimes I would saja-saja ask for her opinion of which shawl goes well with my top or which dress is nicer, which bag to wear and whatnot (I used to do that with my sisters but now that we’re not living in the same house, I’m doing it with my daughter), and most of the time, she would choose the ones I like most. Haha. She’s like my little fashion buddy!

 

 

She has also shown a rather “serious” interest in drawings since earlier this year. I’d say serious, because she would draw for hours, every single day – whether at home, in the car, at the mall, restaurant, etc. Pen and papers are like her best friends now. And I’m more than happy to encourage that hobby of hers. Who knows maybe she would be a famous artist one day? Or you know, a fashion designer or an entrepreneur or whatever she wants to be.

 

Sigh. I still cannot believe how fast she’s grown… and to think that next year would be her last year as a pre-schooler kinda freaks me out a bit. Geez, could anyone please press a pause button for a sec? She’s growing up too fast!



Pa&Ma December Issue

Somebody tagged me on Instagram telling me that my Pa&Ma magazine feature was already out, end of last month. I was in Jakarta at that time, so I told my husband to get a copy.

He got two. One for us, one for my parents. My mum was in it too.

 

 

Yes people. That woman in the black tudung is my mom. And she’s 56!

 

Anyways, thank you Pa&Ma for featuring me and my girls (and my mum) in your personality section.
Just one thing tho…

Saya bukan kelahiran Ampang. Hehe :D



International Education & Islamic Parenting Conference

If you’re a BBIM (Brainy Bunch International Montessori) parent, you probably know that they’re organizing the first International Education & Islamic Parenting conference that will be held this Saturday, at Putrajaya International Convention Centre.

My husband and I are so going. I have been wanting to attend Mufti Ismail Menk’s talk, so when I heard that he’s going to be one of the speakers at this conference, I knew I couldn’t miss it. Dah la topic pasal parenting, lagi la cannot miss!

 

 

It’s a whole day event – talk sessions and activities will be during the day (9am – 5pm), followed by charity concert later at night. You can also bring your kids if you want. They even provide free daycare service for parents who are attending the conference but you have to register as places are limited. We’re bringing ours (Ayra and her friends will be performing choral recitation in the morning).

There are a total of 4 speakers at the conference and each of them will be talking about these interesting topics:

1) Raising our Children with the Book of Allah & the Importance of Islamic Education
2) Our Children and Digital Technology & Empowering Children to Take Charge
3) Preparing Children for Life
4) Tips for Raising Children of Jannah

 

Detailed program agenda as follows:

 

The ticket price has been reduced to RM100 per person, don’t you worry.

And oh, I forgot to mention that it’s open to public as well. Yes, anyone can join! You can go to their website for more info and purchase the tickets here.

 

Now, now…

I have THREE extra tickets and they’re only RM60 each. If you’re interested to purchase, kindly email me at iza@thepinkstilettos.com with the title “Conference” and let me know how many tickets you want. Siapa cepat dia dapat.

**UPDATED**

All tickets have sold out. To those who didn’t get to purchase from me, you can still purchase from the website. Mahal sikit tapi tak apa, sambil dengar talk sambil buat charity because 100% profit from this event will go to the children of Palestine, Egypt and Syria.

(See you at the conference, insya-Allah!)