“When a man loves a woman, he needs to pull away once in awhile before he can get closer. For this reason, men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back” – John Gray.
I love reading books about relationships – mostly by Allan and Barbara Pease, and John Gray. If it weren’t for those books, I would have never known about men and their “caves”. It’s a pretty important “cave”
You see, men need their own spaces every so often to relieve stress. They can’t be hogging you all the time. They need to do things that don’t involve you and so off to their “caves” they go. It’s not literally a cave laa; it could be watching TV, playing games, hanging out with his friends, playing sports, etc.
During this “cave” time, men would usually ignore their partners. For instance, when he’s out with his friends and he doesn’t answer your phone calls, that, my friend, is him in his “cave”. Don’t kacau him. It won’t be for too long. They need to be cavemen once in awhile. It’s a part of the male intimacy cycle – they get close, pull away, then get close again. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. He just needs to fulfill his needs for independence. That’s why I don’t really mind if my husband wants to hangout with his friends or play sports once (or twice) a week. Unless if I’m PMS-ing. Haha.
Unfortunately, some women misinterpret a man’s pulling away as something bad, because we women would pull away or ignore our partners when we’re hurt or angry (silent treatment). Kalau boyfriend tak angkat phone, mulalah fikir macam-macam. Why is he ignoring me? Is he cheating on me? He doesn’t love me anymore! And then boom! World War 3. And when World War 3 has begun, when your boyfriend tried to call you to explain what’s going on, you don’t pick up the phone pulak sampai dapat 48 missed calls. Merajuk. Ain’t that true, women? Huhu.
Jangan sampai jadi macam ni sudah.
What do you think happened?